


Buzzo Gets The Succ

by warpy



Category: LISA (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Fisting, Bees, Crack, Cuckolding, M/M, Oviposition, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-19 22:58:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5983525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warpy/pseuds/warpy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hes succ im fucc</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Succ

Buzzo was a gay man. A very gay man. I mean look at the fuck, hes got gay written all over him. But the only one gayer than Buzzo was his gay boyfriend Dusty.

Buzzo got out of his car, arms full of dozens of cartons from eggs he had won at the casino. Finally accepting his inner chicken, he resolved to raise the eggs as his own. He punched in the door to his house and carefully put the eggs one by one down the sink drain for safekeeping, and then headed straight to their bedroom to tell Dusty the good news about their new bundles of joy (which he actually planned to dye blue later to match his drug of choice). Buzzo kicked down the door to the bedroom impatiently. 

"HONEY, I'm ho-OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK." Dusty was fucking naked on the bed jesus f. christ. Put on some pants you sick fuck. Covered in rose petals and surrounded by like, 200 goddamn candles, Dusty attempted a seductive wink, which ended up as more of a twitchy blink with both eyes. He put a rose between his teeth.

"H-hehho maih lohhe." 

"I can't fucking understand you, take the rose outta your mouth." Dusty spit out the rose.

"K-kind of thorny. H-hello, my love. I've been.......w-waiting for you." Dusty purred. Buzzo instantly popped a boner. Fuck the eggs, a bee's gotta do what a bee's gotta do, and its hip to fuck bees, my guy!!! 

"Fuck yeah dude I'm gonna fuck you up the ass so good, and I promise its gonna last longer than 2 minutes this time ok, last time was an accident." Buzzo clicked his tongue and did a few pelvic thrusts. Dusty was not amused but appreciated the thought. 

"Y-yeah whatever man. L-l-look I've been sitting here lubed up for like 4 hours waiting for you to get home c-can we hurry this up," Dusty shifted uncomfortably. Buzzo nodded understandingly and started taking off his pants at blinding speed.

"W-wait, y-you better wr-wrap it before you tap it if you think you're getting any of th-this," Dusty huffed, vaguely gesturing to his junk. 

"Oh fuck you're right dude," Buzzo agreed and wildly thrust his dick into the box of condoms he kept on him at all times until he got one kind of half on, which was good enough for him.

"LETS GET THIS PARTY FUCKIN STARTED WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Buzzo began screaming at an earbleeding volume as Hip To Fuck Bees began blaring from his bluetooth connected speaker buttplug (which is always in his ass. always).

"O-oh g-god time to bite the pillow," Dusty whimpered to himself as Buzzo helicoptered his monster dong around, and they made sweet, sweet bee love, until Buzzo fucking lost it like 5 minutes later. Dusty nodded understandably, it was a new record for his boyfriend so he wasn't disappointed. At least they had gotten the succ. After all, succ comes before work only in a dick-tionary. 

THE END

Epilogue: In the following days, Dusty and Buzzo began raising their blue egg children together until Buzzo accidentally ate them all in a freak drug-fueled accident where he mistook them for joy. Dusty mourned them for years afterward.


	2. The Succ Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its back baby, and better than ever, with 200% more eggs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just cuck m

It had been 2 years since the death of their egg children, and the guilt haunted Buzzo every day. He had sunken into a deep depression, fueled only by joy and a half eaten poptart he found in the dumpster across the street. He missed his boyfriend dearly; sometimes, he could even hear his voice- wait Dusty isn't dead? Oh ok. Well, yeah, he did hear his voice actually. Dusty's cacophonous wails filled the house, prompting Buzzo to get up and comfort his grieving wife.

He walked down the hall to their bedroom, and there he was, where he had been for the past two years, without moving: Dusty sobbing in a pile of broken egg shells and a puddle of tears.

"Babe, are you still upset about the egg thing ):" Buzzo said quietly. adding the frowny face to show he was _really_ sad, bro.

"OF C-COURSE I AM, YOU SICK F-F-FUCK," Dusty cried, writhing in the soggy patch of carpet he had soaked with his crying fit. "TH-THEY WERE OUR BABIEESSSS WAAAAHHHAAHAAA-"

"OK OK I'M SORRY GEEZ WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM," Buzzo screamed back. Buzzo had a bad habit of yelling when under stress. Which is basically always. Dusty started to answer, but Buzzo liked running away from his problems, so instead he sprinted out of the house at top speed and jumped into his shitty smartcar. 

"SIRI, FUCKING FLOOR IT WE GOTTA GO BEFORE DUSTY REALIZES I LEFT," Buzzo yelled at the smartphone he gripped in his meaty little hand. 

"i ' m  s o r r y  b u z z o ,  i  c a n ' t  d r i v e  a  c a r ."  Siri responded in a monotone voice.

"WELL FUCK YOU TOO," He screeched, tears causing his shitty warpaint to run. He stuck his dick into the ignition and floored it the fuck outta there, because a bee's gotta live free, my guy.

Crashing head-on into a four car collision ahead of him, Buzzo's car flipped about 200 feet, landing in the parking lot of a rather run down 7-up. Buzzo rolled out of his fucked up car and crawled his way into the store.

"Ya...ya guys got eggs here.." he wheezed pathetically, trying to force himself to his feet.

"Yeah, I mean, I guess we do, um. Over there I think," The nerdy, red-haired cashier weakly gestured to the back of the store. Buzzo nodded furiously, limping at top speed to the direction he was pointed in. There, as if surrounded in sweet baby Jesus's holy light, were the eggs. Sweet, sweet eggs. Buzzo reached his shitty little arm out to the carton of eggs. He could finally redeem himself, he could save his family life, he could-

"Not so fast, you fuck." Buzzo whipped his head around toward the source of the voice. Oh fuck. Not this again.

"Lisa, I know youre a hallucination, I dont have time for this," He begged, attempting to reach for the eggs again. She slapped his hand away.

"Kill my dad. If you want the eggs, I mean. You should kill my dad." Lisa glared intensely at him.

"Right, right, I'm working on killing Brad, you know this, now can I please, please-"

"NO, NOT Brad, my DAD. I keep telling you this, you know? Like, please just listen to me, my DAD, MARTY, please KILL HIM, like seriously I'm not gonna-"

"NO TIME FOR YOUR FUCKIN BRAD SHENANIGANS, LISA, I GOT SOME EGGS TO OBTAIN," Buzzo screamed, doing a sick kickflip off the display of eggs, grabbing the topmost carton and somersaulting back toward the cashier.

"YOU, UH," Buzzo squinted at the clerk's nametag. "UH, TOOTHY, I WANT EGGS. PLEASE. EGGS." Buzzo slammed the carton onto the counter, doing his best impression of a begging puppy.

"Uh, It's Tooley. And uh. Sure, i guess," Tooley started to ring up the eggs, but Buzzo snatched them away and bolted out the door.

"YOU UH, NEED TO PAY FOR THOSE, YOU KNOW..!" But Buzzo was already 5 miles away, almost balls deep in the excitement of eggs. He had a mission, and was sprinting toward his house, so close to making things right.

And then, there. There he was. Finally, home at last. 

"DUSTY YUO CUCK!!!!!!!!!! LOOK WHAT I HAVE YOU PISS STAIN!!! YOU UTTER BALLSACK!!!!!" Buzzo kicked in the door to their bedroom, hiding the eggs behind his back.

"Wh-what is it..?" Dusty sniffled, jarred out of his mourning state.

"Close your eyes, and hold out your butt." Buzzo patted Dusty on the head, and Dusty complied, dropping his pants and shutting his eyes tight.

"Ok n-now wh-whAAAOOOA-" Buzzo roughly shoved three eggs up Dusty's ass, and sticking his arm up to the elbow inside his gay bf. 

"WHAT THE F-FUCK B-BERNARD!!!! WH-WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!" Dusty screeched, flailing his limbs in confusion.

"YOU WILL GIVE BIRTH TO OUR SWEET CHILDREN, MY LOVE," Buzzo smiled sweetly, cramming more eggs into his boyfriend.

"O-oh, h-how sweet o-of you, we'll finally b-be p-parents again," Dusty sniffled, crying tears of both joy and pain, because his boyfriend was shoulder deep in his ass with a fistfull of eggs.

"Oh shit." Buzzo paled, realizing he had inadvertently crushed about half of the eggs in his iron grip. As his sweet Lisa had always taught him, firmly grasp it.

"W-what's wrong?" Dusty craned his head back to look at Buzzo with concerned eyes.

"Nothing sweetheart, its, uh, just, uh, technical difficulties?" Buzzo tried in vain to yank his arm out from his boyfriend's ass, only resulting in him flinging Dusty into the wall, creating a refrigerator sized crater where he had hit. 

"Y-you s-s-sure?" Dusty mumbled, not phased at all by being smashed into a wall. Buzzo nodded frantically, swinging his arm wildly, until Dusty flew off his arm and out the window.

"WAIT FUCK, SWEETIE COME BACK," Buzzo screamed in horror, flicking the crushed eggshells and yolks from his hand, and vaulting out the window. What he saw outside was nothing he had ever expected before. 

"D...Dusty....who is that man?" Dusty was currently engaged in a passionate kiss with a stout man clad in a flame-covered shirt with frosted tips. 

"B-Buzzo, I've been....s-seeing someone lately. I'd like y-you to meet my fuckbuddy.....Guy Fieri."

"Whats up, chuck, today on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, we're gonna be eating eggs out of Dusty Armstrong's ass."  Guy gave an enthusiastic thumbs up, and slapped Dusty's ass, causing the taller man to blush furiously.

"I....I can't believe this....after all these years.." Buzzo wept uncontrollably for the loss of his true love.

"Well, I'm off to wrangle this hotdog on the wild ranch of Flavortown," Guy Fieri scooped Buzzo's naked boyfriend into his shitty arms and rocketed away into the sunset, with a distant hoot of merriment. 

Buzzo shed a single tear, staring into the sun in disbelief. He had been cucked again by Guy Fieri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to the real garfieri

**Author's Note:**

> tihs was a joke dont kill me please


End file.
